i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ambien. No doubt about it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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