He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
