I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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