We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
