it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
