Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
