where am i from again
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
