i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
