I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
