DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
