I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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