i permit you to call me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
