dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
