I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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