I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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