I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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