why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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