Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
