lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we made out on top of his cat.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
