Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
