i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
