if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
