After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
