I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
