Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
