Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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