i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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