i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She needs sedatives and a leash
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
