he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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