Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
