Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
