Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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