hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize