piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
