I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
