I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
