ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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