If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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