so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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