White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
