Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
