To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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