Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
