I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
