Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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