yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
