erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
