yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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