I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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