it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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