If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's just like the Real World with babies
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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