ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
