Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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