You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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