before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
