I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize