I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
