just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
They have beer where we have blood.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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