apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
